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Mar 27

Full circle??

 

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The start of my adventures with 635

Easter this year has been a bit different for me. For the last few years it consisted of madly working to prepare for the first race of the season. This year it was time to say goodbye to 635. I have spent a lot of time thinking on what to do after the transat and I still have no idea of the answer but the sad reality is that 635 has now left Lorient for new adventures in Denmark with her new owner. A lot of people say your transat project only comes to a full circle/end once you have sold your boat. My circle began before 635 came into the picture but it is definitely a closure of some sort……but sadly I am not sure if it feels like a full circle or more like an empty hole. I try and focus on the positive side, that is I no longer have to pay insurance/marina fees etc.  But that does not seem to do much to distract me from the overwhelm12036821_934319009972320_5165750524396132820_ning sense of being lost. I have many things to do but without a bigger term goal I still feel lost. I do not feel productive (and I know I am not because I still have a massive to do list!) and feel like I am just walking on the spot rather than taking steps towards something…..but until I have a clearer vision of the direction, it is hard to move forward. I feel like by now I am meant to have some grand plan but I just feel lost and kinda like a failure when people ask what am I doing now? I want to have a grand plan ready to put into action but no single objective has stuck in my head the same way the transat was for all those years.

 

 

12715247_10153915376649889_305268056801796875_nWhile I try and work on a plan, even though I do not have a boat to work on I still have heaps to do. Currently the days I am not working as a English trainer I am working for Conrad Coleman (Kiwi aiming for the Vendee Globe) as a “préparateur” as they say here…..also known as a nipper (at 28 am I too old for that?) or for non-sailors the person who gets the jobs left on the job list when everyone else has had their pick! That might not sound very exciting but generally it is good fun and interesting. Thankfully the sanding phase is nearly finished (one of those jobs that never really finishes) so the jobs are getting more interesting every day. So instead of hunting for easter eggs this weekend I spend time crawling into small black spaces with my new best friend the vacuum cleaner and a grinder, cutting out parts/cleaning. It is also interesting to do more work with carbon as in the past I have never done much hands onstuff on the carbon boats I have worked on so this is cool to get my hands dirty so to say. It is also good to use my French a bit more with the boat captain…..even if I am sure he thinks I am stupid as I have to ask him to repeat a lot! It is very busy, often physical and long days but it is good to get a glimpse of a Vendee campaign. It is not just the massive task of finding the cash the amount of management (boat/people etc) is huge! It does make me think about wanting to go racing, and with the start of the season on the door step it is a bit stressful, but the weather right now (howling and raining) makes me quite happy to be inside for a bit!

 

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Thanks to everyone who helped me and 635 get to the finish!