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Jan 21

The next waypoint??

At the moment I feel a bit like I am sailing without a waypoint. My life is going on as per normal with my job teaching English, going to the gym and swimming training with Lorient Grande Large and rugby training……but for the first time since I am not sure what I do (not everyday as still catching up on post-transat list, but I mean general direction in life) as I do not have an exact objective. It’s like I don’t know what the next mark is on the race track but am sailing around anyway. I know I want to do more solo racing but I wish it was just that simple.

I am sure I am not the only Transat skipper who is a bit lost at the moment. My life was completely dedicated to the Transat for so long that every day I always had something to do and govern my day. Now I just feel like my life is ticking over but I am not really getting anywhere. In the post transat high and at the Salon Nautic (Paris Boat Show) it is easy to say “Yes, I am going to go again!” or “Yes I am going to do XYZ!”. But when you sit down and calculate the task of getting there it is a different story. I want to do more solo stuff…..that is as black and white as ever. But if I do more mini want to do better which will require more training and better equipment sails etc (perfectly aware that I am the biggest factor to improve but still!)….which would require more money or I would want to take the challenge of another class…….which costs even more money. I’d like to think I am very good at managing money, but I cannot see how I can tighten my shoe strings any more so to say. I have the whole living in a van thing down pat but I have to say the temperature drop in the past week or so has make me think maybe time in the van full time will have to have an expiry date.

From the time in 2009 when I decided to pack up my life in Sydney and move to the UK I was motivated by the vision of the transat the dream. I need to get fixated on a new vision. Part of me thinks I already know what I want the vision to be……but maybe I am just too scared to dream it. Not that the dream itself is too scary but the amount of work to maybe have a shot at getting there or knowing the success rate for people like me is. I know they say if you aren’t scared of your dreams, they aren’t big enough……but I wonder whoever said that quote had dreams that the bigger they got the more money they required!!

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Where is the next sunset to chanse?